Autumn Reminds Me of “The Fall”

When I got dressed today I reached for my orange Undertease shirt. There’s something about the fall equinox that makes me want to look like a pumpkin. I headed to the office early in my orange-inspired outfit. (Today was Matt’s day to get the kids off to school — and of course this was the first time this month they wanted school lunch. He didn’t get to start the day with peanut butter on his cuffs.)After a busy morning of magazines, I headed to Timpanogos Regional Hospital in Orem where I’ve been on the board for four years. When I walked in, they said, “It’s our annual flu shot day for board members!” I immediately had flashbacks of last year’s poke — possibly because I was wearing the same orange shirt. I know this because the first thing I saw when I “came to” after fainting from last year’s shot was my orange shirt. The second thing I saw was the huddle of 12 medical professionals gathered around me. And the third thing I saw was the oxygen mask on my face.Yes, I fainted while trying to avoid H1N1 last fall. Lucky for me, I was AT THE HOSPITAL. They called a “code something-or-ther” and spent the next few minutes making sure I was alive. I didn’t open my eyes until our meeting was under way, and the only reason I knew my whereabouts was because one of the doctors in the huddle was on the board with me. I gradually started putting “two and three” together (I was still out of it). And then my mind went back to my orange shirt, which I had been wearing under a jacket. It’s the snug kind of undershirt that you don’t wear alone, if you know what I mean. I had removed the jacket to give the nurse some skin for the shot, and when I fell to the earth I was jacketless. When my eyes slivered open, the modesty lessons I had given at church flashed before them. Then I realized my legs were propped up in the air, and I was wearing a skirt! Modesty strike #2! And this mortifying episode was in front of fellow board members and colleagues!Today everyone on the board was relieved that I declined the flu shot. No need for a second round of awkwardness.If I DO get the flu this season, it will probably be worth it.

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